How about yesterday? You needed a clear answer about continuing a conversation because honestly…you are exhausted. God said, “Wait”.
It may have been 5 weeks ago that you were desperate for insight. You traveled along with the possibility of a yes but the answer was loud and clear. No where near what you hoped for.
Oh the frustration and disappointment!
Sometimes I handle the “No” with grace and “I totally trust you” sediments.
Other times…for crying out loud why on earth can’t I get a “Yes” from my very good God, the author of my life?
I need to remember that
“The eyes of the Lord are in every place,
keeping watch on the evil and the good.” – Proverbs 15:3
Seriously, impatience plagues me but its good. He knows it. He allows me to get there. His eyes are in every place thank goodness.
I’ve hurriedly asked for a yes expecting a moments notice answer. Havent we all?
I’ve stepped out in a conversation before I received clarity and it was not pretty. I can’t handle those moments.
I’ve also been in a waiting game that took months to get a sure answer…oh my heavens the frustration of that “No” about did me in.
I’ve never been a fan of tests. School tests, doctor tests, athletic tests, and definitely not spiritual tests.
He allows enormous room for us to doubt, to fear, and even to say ridiculous things when we feel tested and discouraged.
“Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear him,
on those who hope in his steadfast love…” – Psalm 33:18
Usually we end up in doubt because we have sunk into ourselves. …but the eye of the Lord is on us.
God shows me one thing very clearly when I begin to sink. Even if everything else is murky. He shows me a window into His view and deeper purpose. Its my choice to peer through and let Him lead me.
In my most recent circumstance I came out thankful but it took time and honestly I’m still dealing with the why not questions. In my disappointment I wrote down these words…
Purify my desires. Make them only yours.
Extinguish my worry. Bring joy in unknowns.
Gather my fear. Let peace reign today.
Lift my head high. Show me your way.
The reality is that we become free to step into His sovereignty as soon as we can receive the “No” as provision and not punishment.