Coffee was brewed (only our 3rd cup that morning), baby was napping, and big kids were doing homework. It was the perfect set up for a nice long chat with a long-time friend.
She had just come out of a super busy and stressful phase working and I had come out of baby’s first year.
She was processing where her purpose was rooted now that her pace had slowed down and I was seeking clarity on who and what I was giving my time too.
We talked life and the challenges and joys that have come into our days over the past couple of years. Dont you love how conversations can add a richer level to our days?
After about an hour into our sharing, she confirmed the desire of my heart lately about how we live life.
“Jen – living life and parenting in your 20’s looked a lot different than it does in your 40’s and that’s okay… our stage of life here and now is contributing to the desire to not go everywhere/do it all/ be everything.”
She was so right! That is where I am these days and I wish I had that kind of coaching when I was “young”. Maybe I did have that insight but wasnt ready to listen to the wisdom behind it.
Feeling at peace with being and not doing has been a process and part of growing up. But getting caught up in the snares of accomplishing stuff that makes us look or feel valuable doesn’t have to be.
I love to be engaged with people.
I love to help plan and carry out events.
I enjoy watching my kids find places to plug-in and dive into their passions.
I get so excited about sharing reality with writing.
But seriously, much of what we say yes too can be rooted in good ole fashioned pressure to find that “more” we were meant to do. It could also be, shall we say it… insecurity. We feel like there has to be more to our lives than just this.
Lies and more lies come at us daily. We are not enough. Mothering can be set aside because good grief people need us and God has work for me to do.
Meanwhile, those dearest to us begin to feel the stress of too much good stuff.
We are setting our families up for a faith upheaval by putting aside our first responsiblity to disciple them before we commit to the rest of the world.
The mountain of ways we can sign up and save the day are vast and overwhelming sometimes.
Bible Study Team.
All super great outlets.
Not super great at the same time.
Never worth losing the hearts of our family over.
Finding balance and realizing your motivation for doing, can be the creamer to your coffee.
We can all fill in the blank. “What would happen if we didn’t _________?”
Could you honestly still feel valued with the raw frame of responsibility in front of you today without the extra added ministry or service?
Even more freeing, “What or who is motivating me to do _________?”
Is it possible that we are looking to another to drive our ambitions? Maybe the grass is so much prettier on the other side of wherever we are standing right now.
Freedom and deep breathing are actually just a cautious, prayerful decision away.
I totally get that sometimes we have to go through the “run the race” years and chase after every opportunity before we see being as more important than doing.
Purpose comes into focus when we make it through those early years of marriage and parenting. The struggles are still present but the priorities and the way we handle looks different.
Today I’m thankful for my friend and the sure and steady words she spoke.
Do you have a friend who is a few years ahead of you in life and in wisdom?
Letting someone in to really see your life, your priorities, and you motivations can help to point out the not so obvious.
Heres to a week of practicing less doing, and finding joy and purpose in simply being.
Making space for those closest to me before I attempt to branch out with my to do lists… speaks volumes to the 6 people with the front row seats to my day.