Rough, frustrated, disheartened, all come to mind.
Oh Mommas, I know you get me on these days.
Maybe you’ve thought things like, “I did not sign up for this .”
Or you give yourself pep talks to make it through the day like, “I’m not a bad Mom, I’m with these kids day in and day out trying to give them my best even if I feel the worst.”
Does God call you out while you are calling out your kids?
I’ve said things like,
“You need Jesus that is why you can’t move past this behavior.”
“If you had the Holy Spirit you would feel some conviction Sister.”
“I can talk to you all day about making better choices…but you have to choose.”
Every one of those phrases God has whispered to me about my behavior, convictions, and choices. Sometimes we are reminded of our own need for a Savior while reminding our kids.
I have been sad, angry, and broken over her disobedience in just the little things.
Days of hard conversations about her selfish, disobedient heart have been on repeat!
Like Groundhogs Day on repeat. Over and over.
Same old games. No end in sight had this Momma was going nuts.
Just when I thought we were coming out of her stormy self, she jumped ship out of the safety of the harbor and back into the crashing waves. Again!
While I was trying to convict her heart, God was re- shaping mine to better parent her but first I had to make mistakes in my lecturing her.
Rather than SHOW her what she needed I was trying to CONVICT her of her deep need. I would bet that I’m not alone in this tactic.
Some days it feels easier to say words than to display truth.
I’ve even made the “out of control” phone call to Daddy to let him know the hard place I was in. Honestly as a Momma doing the all day discipline, its hard for Dad to come home and get the good stuff.
I know Dads don’t want to come home to an earful and good wives say they try not to overload them with every day drama but sometimes you just need to get them involved. Parenting is a team effort, especially on the hard days.
We had been working with her for months and there was no amount of spiritual counseling or preaching about her need for Jesus that was going to break through .
It had to be God’s timing and her readiness to see her sin for what it was.
The breakthrough came one evening this weekend and it was Gods voice not ours that she heard this time.
A long talk with Daddy after weeks of hard talks with Mommy came to a breaking point after a hard evening. This was the moment that led to her realizing her sin and her need for a helper.
We gathered in the living room to hear her proclaim her belief, confess her sinful ways, and her desire to walk in God’s path.
Dad asked her if she would like to pray and tell God what she desired.
With puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks she said with a tiny smile, “Sure – but its gonna be short.” She prayed… “God, I have disappointed you with my sin. I want to believe. Thank you for forgiving me. I want to follow your path. Amen.”
The brothers shared some truth with her about what life looks like after we accept Jesus. That the hard days still come but now we get to choose God’s path not our own.
This week I am thankful that we can look to the days ahead with the Holy Spirit as a part of every situation. While He was taking up residence in her life, He reminded me of so many truths about my own life.
God has been saddened by my disobedience.
He tires of the same old games in my life and waits for me to choose His way.
Just when He sees my heart coming back to the safety of His harbor, I jump back in to selfishness.
The parenting journey is about guiding our kids, yes.
It is also for refining and maturing the hearts of parents in the process.
We welcomed Molly to our family 6 years ago, asking God to help us lead her heart to his.
Now we welcome her to the family for all eternity!