Its been a few years since my wonderful, full of ambition, power organizing (kind words for OCD) husband decided to de-clutter and clean out our attic while I was taking a nap.
The cleaning out was not the problem… it was the while I was sleeping tactic!
Without giving you every painful detail of that situation, I will say that he braced himself for war upon my waking up.
That war was brutal and included me driving to the Good Will drop off container in tears to search for the piles of memories from our 3 boys babyhood.
Homemade blankets from Grammy, knitted sweaters and hats from Auntie, and even those tiny first pair of shoes.
I completely freaked out on the old man running the drop off that afternoon.
I got out of my car in tears and he said to me, “I figured a wife would come back. Let me show you where your things are.” Bless his heart.
The Lord protected my husband that day from my Mominator rage.
De-cluttering to make space is necessary unless the things we are holding on to matter later.
It’s fall in Tennessee y’all and today was extra amazing.
Stepping outside takes me back to what really matters. It makes me want to purge my life and my heart of things that are taking up space.
I fell captive to the bright colors against that blue sky… well as much as possible while pushing a baby boy in a race car while sister was collecting leaves.
I am such a sucker for scenery.
It is in those moments of seeing beauty and all the ways God demonstrates His love to me, that my vision comes into focus. Thoughts like:
“Why on earth are we chasing so many things…things that appear to be good but really just super-duper time-consuming and are not really deepening my love for Christ?”
Asking myself this question is a really easy way to de-clutter my heart and my brain of well-loved desires but not things that will really matter in the end.
People matter. But chasing after being known does not.
Ministry matters. But serving for accolades and value in the eyes of another does not.
Family matters. But comparing our people to others does not.
Home matters. But exhausting yourself to live picture perfect does not.
Giving away lost minutes, hours, and weeks to things that rob me from living today like I’m meeting Him tomorrow… will surely be something I will regret.
Some days we don’t feel confident enough in the responsibilities sprawled out in front of us so we chase a deeper meaning, a louder purpose.
Louder is not bad… but it can mislead us in believing that we will feel stronger and closer to Jesus because we have expanded our reach.
Our ministry reach.
Our friend reach.
Our do good reach.
Our parenting reach.
Will the chase for more matter?
God help me, help us to trade in the good stuff of this world for more of your Spirit and less of everything else that competes for that space.
Give me courage to expand my reach to what is lasting and run interference when I start reaching for ambitions that wont matter to you when we meet.
In the end, it really is you that we want. Nothing more…even though we have moments that show our immaturity and hot pursuit for more than you.
You are patient and powerful so we know you can handle us, but may we really recognize what matters and let go of what does not. – Amen.