The morning was not panning out to be all that I hoped it would.
Frustrating conversations were being tossed around between four of our five kids and honestly my husband and I struggled to get on the same page. Long days and nights of living in the “between” phase was causing us all to be a little weary.
I know I’m not alone here friends…
My heart was mentally trying to prepare for a meeting that afternoon with a mom who was loosing her every loving mind – sound familiar?
I was so looking forward to hearing her story, and cheering her on in the struggle to walk out her daily mission…except I also needed that pep talk.
Heaven help us gals who love to be used to minister to others, but right before we step into a hard conversation or difficult meeting…our own lives falls apart.
This was one of those days where I felt like I had no hope to offer another human, and I was actually the one in need of the counseling.
God was not surprised that day when he orchestrated my sitting in the company of a gal who needed to share the hard and the ugly. I knew He was up to something really good when He called me into account just minutes before we sat down.
My well was completely dried up. There were no beaming eyes or an overflowing heart that I could even share with her. Nothing.
In my frustration and pride, I admitted that my connection with God was weak and in desperate need of refueling.
When we try to live our lives ahead of God and His voice – we miss out. He so desperately wants to be in tight community with us, to be welcomed to the hard conversations and to be trusted with our struggling.
Somehow in the stress of living in a motor home with my family of seven (I know – crazy), and being jobless for four months had me in perfect position for my own major meltdown.
He spoke to me about my running and serving on empty.
“Jenny. This morning was rough because you set me aside. In all of your thinking and planning for leading someone else– you didn’t restore your own broken with me. I set this assignment up and you must tap into my hope, not rely on your own.”
We desire to serve Him fully and to use our own experiences to encourage…but sometimes our light is just too dim to have lasting impact.
I love the truth and wisdom offered in this Proverb…
“Light in a messenger’s eyes brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones.” – Proverbs 15:30
As my friend began to unpack to harsh realities of raising two little ones with a husband who was away for months at a time – God did what He does best.
He started to whisper the truth that I needed, at the same time I was sadly attempting to add value to this woman’s hard work.
Maybe it’s the same for you.
The moments that we devote to connecting with God, are the moments when He makes us new, and gives us freedom to be okay with where He is leading us.
After an hour and a half had passed and our conversation hit all the tender spots, God used that time to remind me that I needed him. Like REALLY needed His grace, strength, and humility in my own life.
That day, hope appeared – but it wasn’t in my words of wisdom. As my friend unpacked her hardships, my own became doable.
How often do we reach out to another in need of a life line and our own perspective becomes clear and all the hardships grow into possibilities?
Thankfully, when we head out on our own strength, He chooses to guide us back into His wisdom, rest, and comfort…and what a sweet spot that is.
I love that connecting with God is not so much a future list of to – do’s but more of a list of right-now’s. His availability is not limited and He can handle all the overwhelming things.
Sometimes hope is found in the unlikely moments. The ones where we have nothing to offer but love and understanding of someone else in desperate need.